How my children learn to make choices

Making choices, you start early. And of course I know we all have to learn to make our own choices, but sometimes I just want my kids to like something I like too. And then don’t understand why they’re not as excited as I am.

Chocolate spread and peanut butter

Sometimes I have to laugh when I hear the boys at the table. Some don’t like peanut butter and others don’t like chocolate spread. The discussions that ensued.

I sometimes don’t understand why some like it and others don’t. I like it anyway, what’s wrong with peanut butter? In addition, I also sometimes feel that they learn to eat things, because what they like now may suddenly be dirty tomorrow and vice versa.

Actually the whole learning to make choices starts right at the dinner table. Because so many people so many wishes. Children make choices and do not always care about what others think or want.

Your own choice in sports

When the boys were five, they played soccer. The oldest has long indicated that he wanted to play soccer and the youngest went along with his choices. After a few years they wanted to stop playing soccer.

Fine, but then we – the parents- would want them to choose another sport. I wanted them to go to athletics. And more or less pushed through my choice by taking them here.

After two years it just turns out, what I actually knew of course, that doesn’t work. My choice is not always the children’s choice. They need to learn to make their own choices and not go do what their mother would like them to do..

What if they don’t like it

Because I was involved in athletics myself for more than twenty years and always had a good time here, it seemed like something for the boys as well. After a few trial workouts, the boys became members. They enjoyed going, but still something was missing. They didn’t really fit in with the group, they didn’t always like the training sessions and they certainly didn’t want to participate in competitions.

I did notice that they just started working out more and more reluctantly. When we took them to the climbing gym again, they said that they actually liked climbing more.

Learning to make your own choices

We then discussed this with each other and decided to quit athletics. Of course I regret this, both because it’s a good sport but also because I’ve always enjoyed it so much myself. Yet in the whole process of learning to make their own choices, they themselves have now decided to gladly climb with us.

Like my parents, we never pushed the boys in climbing. Now that they themselves indicate that they would like to go climbing with us, we can only encourage this.

Making school choices

Speaking of choices, it’s good that they’re learning to make choices. So many more times they will have to do this. Does making choices maybe start with what they want on their bread. In the coming years they will also have to make big choices.

The high school choice. Next time we are going to take a look at different high schools. We as parents can have an opinion about this, the children will also have a lot of say in this. After all, they are the ones who have to walk around this school all these years.

Plenty of choices to make and although we may try to steer them a little bit, learning to make your own choices is not so bad.